i feel like a disgrace to pregnant women. pregnancy is supposed to be this joyous and happy occasion. pregnant women are supposed to be glowing and blissful and full of life -- literally and figuratively.
but i don't feel like any of those things. i'm tired, worn out, sick, and stressed. if i'm glowing, it's probably an odd hue of pasty or pale that simply looks luminescent in the fluorescent light under which i stand at work. i'm constantly hungry, and that makes me irritable and grouchy. i wake up in the middle of the night with painful indigestion or hunger pangs.
none of these things make me a happy, joyous, blissful person. i'm excited you're on the way; i look forward to meeting you. but i'm also scared about the aftermath. i worry about what it will take to get us to that point. do we have enough money? do i have enough energy?
the one thing i do not doubt is the love, baby. we have enough love.
today, a co-worker told me that i'm starting to show a little bit. i told her that she's probably confusing that with fat, since i eat so much. i look forward to the day i can feel you inside of me. it will make this whole experience much more real.
one day at a time, baby.