dear baby eric,
long story short: it's time! my water broke at 11 pm last night. your dad and i got to the hospital only to learn that i was just 1 cm dilated. we've been here almost 6 hours now.
more updates to come.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
034
dear baby eric,
firmly into our 37th week. cramping regularly at night, irregular contractions, groin and leg pain, back pain -- you name it, i think i'm experiencing it. and it looks like my baby milk jugs are in proper working order, too. i just freaked myself out by squirting colostrum out my boobs.
*sigh*
any day now, baby!
firmly into our 37th week. cramping regularly at night, irregular contractions, groin and leg pain, back pain -- you name it, i think i'm experiencing it. and it looks like my baby milk jugs are in proper working order, too. i just freaked myself out by squirting colostrum out my boobs.
...and here's a photo of my belly compared to your father's. would you believe he's sticking his gut out as far as possible?
*sigh*
any day now, baby!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
033
dear baby eric,
we're 36 weeks along now. had a bit of a scare last night when i thought my water might've broken while i was dealing with an upset stomach. i've been experiencing contractions sporadically since saturday evening when i found myself in the hospital with bad cramps and an awful headache. i thought maybe those were symptoms of high blood pressure, but tests showed that my numbers were very normal -- the lowest they've been in months. however, my heart rate sky rocketed and yours did too, so i was kept at the hospital for a few hours for observation and so that my rates could normalize. thankfully they did.
but all these things make me think that you may make your debut before new year's.
we'll see!
we're 36 weeks along now. had a bit of a scare last night when i thought my water might've broken while i was dealing with an upset stomach. i've been experiencing contractions sporadically since saturday evening when i found myself in the hospital with bad cramps and an awful headache. i thought maybe those were symptoms of high blood pressure, but tests showed that my numbers were very normal -- the lowest they've been in months. however, my heart rate sky rocketed and yours did too, so i was kept at the hospital for a few hours for observation and so that my rates could normalize. thankfully they did.
but all these things make me think that you may make your debut before new year's.
we'll see!
 |
| 34 weeks! |
 |
| my belly's starting to look a bit lower indicating that you're dropping. |
 |
| 35 weeks! |
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| 36 weeks! |
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| you're getting quite cramped in there... |
Saturday, November 19, 2011
032
dear baby eric,
so much has happened since the last time i wrote to you. your grandma karen, aunt holly, and grandma tami hosted a baby shower for me and your father. your papaw ray was able to attend, all the way from hawaii! you received all sorts of gifts, from diapers to toys to clothes. we're so thankful for the generosity of our friends and family, and the fact that you're already so supported and loved.
one of the most meaningful gifts we received was from mrs. kvam, the mother of our friend eric, for whom you're named. not only did she gift us with a great graco swing/bouncer (a gadget i'm sure you'll adore), but she also knitted a blanket for you from the softest yarn. i know she put a lot of love into creating the blanket, and that love will surround you every time we bundle you in it.
actually, you received a few handmade blankets -- not only the knitted afghan from mrs. kvam, but a quilt from my aunt sherry (though she says it's actually for ME, and i can CHOOSE to share it with you if i want), and a knotted fleece blanket from your aunt britney.
a couple days after the shower, your papaw ray and i met up with your tutu karen in las vegas. i enjoyed spending time with my parents, whom i miss terribly since they live across the ocean in hawaii and we're here in northern nevada. your tutu karen will come up here for a visit in early january. hopefully you'll already be here by then, and she can help me adjust to the rigors of mommyhood.
at the doctor's yesterday, we learned that you're still growing on track and have a nice, steady heartbeat at 140 BPM. our sonogram a week ago showed that you're already in position, head down. i think you're experiencing a last minute in-utero growth spirt, however, because i'm cramping a lot. the doctor says that my ligaments are stretching to accommodate your size. you hurt! there was some concern that all my cramping was an indication that i might be going into premature labor, but the doc checked everything out and things seem to be okay. we've still got a couple weeks to go before you're considered full-term, so i definitely don't want to experience any labor pains yet. but if after 36 weeks you feel like making an appearance, i'm okay with that. because honestly i'm getting tired of being pregnant, and i'd much rather be your mommy with you OUTSIDE my body, rather than tucked up in it.
we'll be 34 weeks on monday, which is the day after tomorrow. slowly but surely, baby!
so much has happened since the last time i wrote to you. your grandma karen, aunt holly, and grandma tami hosted a baby shower for me and your father. your papaw ray was able to attend, all the way from hawaii! you received all sorts of gifts, from diapers to toys to clothes. we're so thankful for the generosity of our friends and family, and the fact that you're already so supported and loved.
one of the most meaningful gifts we received was from mrs. kvam, the mother of our friend eric, for whom you're named. not only did she gift us with a great graco swing/bouncer (a gadget i'm sure you'll adore), but she also knitted a blanket for you from the softest yarn. i know she put a lot of love into creating the blanket, and that love will surround you every time we bundle you in it.
actually, you received a few handmade blankets -- not only the knitted afghan from mrs. kvam, but a quilt from my aunt sherry (though she says it's actually for ME, and i can CHOOSE to share it with you if i want), and a knotted fleece blanket from your aunt britney.
a couple days after the shower, your papaw ray and i met up with your tutu karen in las vegas. i enjoyed spending time with my parents, whom i miss terribly since they live across the ocean in hawaii and we're here in northern nevada. your tutu karen will come up here for a visit in early january. hopefully you'll already be here by then, and she can help me adjust to the rigors of mommyhood.
at the doctor's yesterday, we learned that you're still growing on track and have a nice, steady heartbeat at 140 BPM. our sonogram a week ago showed that you're already in position, head down. i think you're experiencing a last minute in-utero growth spirt, however, because i'm cramping a lot. the doctor says that my ligaments are stretching to accommodate your size. you hurt! there was some concern that all my cramping was an indication that i might be going into premature labor, but the doc checked everything out and things seem to be okay. we've still got a couple weeks to go before you're considered full-term, so i definitely don't want to experience any labor pains yet. but if after 36 weeks you feel like making an appearance, i'm okay with that. because honestly i'm getting tired of being pregnant, and i'd much rather be your mommy with you OUTSIDE my body, rather than tucked up in it.
we'll be 34 weeks on monday, which is the day after tomorrow. slowly but surely, baby!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
031
dear son in my womb,
your stretching and kicking and crazy belly acrobatics make me think that you're practicing for a future career as a pilates instructor. and really, if that's what your heart desires, then i'm all for it. but i don't think your father will be as thrilled. i'm not even sure he knows what pilates is. better tone it down, son.
in other news, your father thinks i'm weird because i made the following video. it's our first dance, you and me. i was introducing you to good music -- elvis, johnny cash -- tunes you won't listen to very much if you continue on this pilates path in life. just kidding.
your stretching and kicking and crazy belly acrobatics make me think that you're practicing for a future career as a pilates instructor. and really, if that's what your heart desires, then i'm all for it. but i don't think your father will be as thrilled. i'm not even sure he knows what pilates is. better tone it down, son.
in other news, your father thinks i'm weird because i made the following video. it's our first dance, you and me. i was introducing you to good music -- elvis, johnny cash -- tunes you won't listen to very much if you continue on this pilates path in life. just kidding.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
030
dear baby eric,
it's been a while. lots has happened in the last couple of weeks. i'm well into our third trimester, i've been told by my doctor to rest more because my blood pressure is pre-hypertensive, i have random cramps, and i've had a few contractions.
needless to say, you're on your way in the next few weeks. tomorrow we'll officially be 32 weeks along, which means that we only have 8 more weeks until your due date. your father and i are thinking about all sorts of scarily important things to prepare for your arrival, like creating a birth plan. i desperately need to look into birthing classes as well. after feeling just a few mild contractions last week, i think i could use some education about coping techniques in case the pain of labor becomes too much. ideally, i'd love to give birth to you without being given too much medicine. don't want your entrance into the world to be marred by drugs, you know?
my tummy seems to have grown by leaps and bounds these past couple of weeks. i'm much more sensitive to your movement. i feel you much higher up in my ribs, but also waaaay down low in my pelvis as well. you like to dance on my bladder, and it's sore.
sometimes, i can feel your little knee or elbow poking out my side. your joints feel knobby under my skin.
sometimes, when i poke and prod at my belly, you'll kick in response.
it's been a while. lots has happened in the last couple of weeks. i'm well into our third trimester, i've been told by my doctor to rest more because my blood pressure is pre-hypertensive, i have random cramps, and i've had a few contractions.
needless to say, you're on your way in the next few weeks. tomorrow we'll officially be 32 weeks along, which means that we only have 8 more weeks until your due date. your father and i are thinking about all sorts of scarily important things to prepare for your arrival, like creating a birth plan. i desperately need to look into birthing classes as well. after feeling just a few mild contractions last week, i think i could use some education about coping techniques in case the pain of labor becomes too much. ideally, i'd love to give birth to you without being given too much medicine. don't want your entrance into the world to be marred by drugs, you know?
my tummy seems to have grown by leaps and bounds these past couple of weeks. i'm much more sensitive to your movement. i feel you much higher up in my ribs, but also waaaay down low in my pelvis as well. you like to dance on my bladder, and it's sore.
sometimes, i can feel your little knee or elbow poking out my side. your joints feel knobby under my skin.
sometimes, when i poke and prod at my belly, you'll kick in response.
 |
| 30 weeks |
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| BOOM! |
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| our halloween costume, which we wore on nevada day, but not on halloween... |
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| 31 weeks |
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| 31 weeks |
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
028
dear baby eric:
i have a ridiculous head cold and there's not much i can do about it because i'm in my seventh month of pregnancy. apparently, over-the-counter medications to alleviate cold symptoms aren't safe for ladies in their third trimester. still, i called the doctor this afternoon hoping he could do something for me, and he said i could take sudafed every so often -- just not SO often. it's been 90 or so minutes since i popped a couple pills and i've yet to experience any relief. so it now feels as if my belly and/or my head will explode any minute.
i think it's funny, baby, that people think i'm not very pregnant. they look at my belly and assume i'm only about four or five months along, and they're surprised when i tell them i'm in my third trimester. i hope that means you're healthy. the doctor never seems worried when he measures my belly or listens to your heartbeat, which means to me that you're right on track. but i hope you're a hearty kid. i don't want you to be a pipsqueak.
by the way, baby, today's my birthday. i'm 28 weeks along now, which means there's only 12 more to go. some photos:
i have a ridiculous head cold and there's not much i can do about it because i'm in my seventh month of pregnancy. apparently, over-the-counter medications to alleviate cold symptoms aren't safe for ladies in their third trimester. still, i called the doctor this afternoon hoping he could do something for me, and he said i could take sudafed every so often -- just not SO often. it's been 90 or so minutes since i popped a couple pills and i've yet to experience any relief. so it now feels as if my belly and/or my head will explode any minute.
i think it's funny, baby, that people think i'm not very pregnant. they look at my belly and assume i'm only about four or five months along, and they're surprised when i tell them i'm in my third trimester. i hope that means you're healthy. the doctor never seems worried when he measures my belly or listens to your heartbeat, which means to me that you're right on track. but i hope you're a hearty kid. i don't want you to be a pipsqueak.
by the way, baby, today's my birthday. i'm 28 weeks along now, which means there's only 12 more to go. some photos:
Monday, October 3, 2011
027
dear baby eric,
i haven't written in a while mostly because there hasn't been anything exciting to update. you're growing, of course. my belly is large and my skin is stretched taut, which is at times uncomfortable but i deal with it. i don't know the meaning of a "good night's rest" anymore because you get feisty and kick-y when i lay down to rest, and it seems i can't go an hour without a break for the bathroom. not only that, but the weight of you on my hips causes uncomfortable cramps if i don't switch positions every hour or so as well. needless to say, i haven't gotten a solid sleep in a long time.
summer seems to be on the way out. officially, it's autumn now but we've still been dealing with ridiculously warm temperatures. there's a raging wind storm outside as i type this, however, and i'm hoping it blows away the heat and the coolness of fall will finally settle in. you're a warm little guy, and you bring up my body temperature quite a bit, so i'm looking forward to feeling comfier in colder temps as the weeks go on.
this week marks the end of my second trimester, which means we're in the home stretch! we only have october, november, and december left to conquer before you arrive sometime in early january.
my baby shower is next month, and your grandpa lovell will be here for the event. definitely looking forward to that and receiving all sorts of goodies to make your life (and mine! and your fathers...) easier when we welcome you to the world.
27 weeks today, baby boy. only 13 more to go!
i haven't written in a while mostly because there hasn't been anything exciting to update. you're growing, of course. my belly is large and my skin is stretched taut, which is at times uncomfortable but i deal with it. i don't know the meaning of a "good night's rest" anymore because you get feisty and kick-y when i lay down to rest, and it seems i can't go an hour without a break for the bathroom. not only that, but the weight of you on my hips causes uncomfortable cramps if i don't switch positions every hour or so as well. needless to say, i haven't gotten a solid sleep in a long time.
summer seems to be on the way out. officially, it's autumn now but we've still been dealing with ridiculously warm temperatures. there's a raging wind storm outside as i type this, however, and i'm hoping it blows away the heat and the coolness of fall will finally settle in. you're a warm little guy, and you bring up my body temperature quite a bit, so i'm looking forward to feeling comfier in colder temps as the weeks go on.
this week marks the end of my second trimester, which means we're in the home stretch! we only have october, november, and december left to conquer before you arrive sometime in early january.
my baby shower is next month, and your grandpa lovell will be here for the event. definitely looking forward to that and receiving all sorts of goodies to make your life (and mine! and your fathers...) easier when we welcome you to the world.
27 weeks today, baby boy. only 13 more to go!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
026
dear baby eric,
you have a name! your dad and i had a lovely dinner last week with jean and bob, the parents of our friend eric who passed away in april. we figured out that you were probably conceived about a week before eric's death. eric was one of your father's best friends, and he made an impact on my life during the short time i knew him as well. we received jean and bob's blessing to name you after him. he was an extraordinary person, baby. adventurous and energetic but poetic and introspective and compassionate and friendly and so giving of himself. though i know you'll grow up to be a unique individual, i hope you'll also embody some of those characteristics as well. and i find it so reassuring to know that our friend eric will be your guardian angel. he was practically fearless. it's good to know that your angel will be willing to accompany you on all the crazy twists and turns your path in life will take.
you've been kicking up a storm lately, baby, so much so that your dad finally felt you move a few nights ago. we were in bed, settling in for the evening, about to fall asleep. he laid his hand across my tummy and i felt your little flutters on the other side of my abdomen. i moved his hand and you kicked it softly a couple times. your dad smiled, awestruck.
i think you're experiencing a growth spurt, too. you're pushing more into my upper body, my diaphragm, making it difficult for me to get a good breath of air.
i was cleaning out an old purse the other day and found the pregnancy tests i took that confirmed i was expecting you. i'd stashed them in my purse when i headed out to meet your dad to tell him the news. i wasn't sure if he'd believe me, so i brought them along as proof. i thought he'd be grossed out to know i still have them, but your dad wants to keep them for your scrapbook. if this embarrasses you in the future, i'm letting you know now that it's his fault, not mine.
love you, baby. 16 more weeks 'til we meet.
24 weeks along:
you have a name! your dad and i had a lovely dinner last week with jean and bob, the parents of our friend eric who passed away in april. we figured out that you were probably conceived about a week before eric's death. eric was one of your father's best friends, and he made an impact on my life during the short time i knew him as well. we received jean and bob's blessing to name you after him. he was an extraordinary person, baby. adventurous and energetic but poetic and introspective and compassionate and friendly and so giving of himself. though i know you'll grow up to be a unique individual, i hope you'll also embody some of those characteristics as well. and i find it so reassuring to know that our friend eric will be your guardian angel. he was practically fearless. it's good to know that your angel will be willing to accompany you on all the crazy twists and turns your path in life will take.
you've been kicking up a storm lately, baby, so much so that your dad finally felt you move a few nights ago. we were in bed, settling in for the evening, about to fall asleep. he laid his hand across my tummy and i felt your little flutters on the other side of my abdomen. i moved his hand and you kicked it softly a couple times. your dad smiled, awestruck.
i think you're experiencing a growth spurt, too. you're pushing more into my upper body, my diaphragm, making it difficult for me to get a good breath of air.
i was cleaning out an old purse the other day and found the pregnancy tests i took that confirmed i was expecting you. i'd stashed them in my purse when i headed out to meet your dad to tell him the news. i wasn't sure if he'd believe me, so i brought them along as proof. i thought he'd be grossed out to know i still have them, but your dad wants to keep them for your scrapbook. if this embarrasses you in the future, i'm letting you know now that it's his fault, not mine.
love you, baby. 16 more weeks 'til we meet.
24 weeks along:
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
025
dear baby boy,
spent a few hours in the hospital a couple days ago for dehydration due to a stomach bug. i was released early yesterday morning. the nice thing about being 23 weeks pregnant and going to the hospital is that i was able to entirely bypass the emergency department. i was shuttled up to labor & delivery in a wheelchair and settled into a comfy semi-private room with pretty wallpaper and a special hospital bed made for pregnant ladies.
the nurse strapped monitors to my belly to listen to your heartbeat. you didn't like the monitors, or maybe it was the cold jelly she spread on my skin beforehand. your heartbeat came across loud and strong, along with other random funny noises that the nurse explained was you moving around. i felt you kick at the monitors, too. you're a savvy little guy -- you knew exactly where they were on my tummy and you fine tuned your little kicks right in those areas, as if you were trying to figure out why these funny things were invading your space. you'd switch between poking at the one on my lower belly and the one on my upper belly, which caused me to feel a weird tickling and rolling sensation up and down my abdomen. it was a nice distraction from the nausea and pain i'd been feeling for days.
you've been rather quiet since then, though. i'm guessing all that activity was due to related discomfort from the stomach bug i had. i think i'm more or less over it now. i took it pretty easy yesterday, but i was able to keep food and liquids down all day. the effort in doing that tuckered us both out, though. we napped away a good portion of the day, you and i.
yesterday was a frightening day, baby. a rogue gunman opened fire in the carson city IHOP and killed three people, injured another eight, and then committed suicide. your father and i eat there often. if i'd been released form the hospital later in the morning, we might've stopped by there for breakfast.
sometimes i wonder what kind of world i'm bringing you in to. what kind of mother am i to invite you into a world where our country's been at war for ten years with know discernible goal or end date in sight, where children in other countries are dying form starvation before their first birthdays, where our world leaders care more about their twitter updates and celebrity status than solving problems and creating progress. how can i bring you into a world where it's not even safe to go to the neighborhood diner for a meal?
but maybe you'll be the answer to one or some or all of these problems, baby. you're a clean slate, brand new, full of potential. maybe you'll grow up to cure cancer, or to be the president of the united states who actually unites everyone for a common good. your life was created and conceived despite barriers and boundaries that your father and i put in place to prevent pregnancy, which makes us believe that your life is that much more significant. every life is precious, baby, but YOU are our gift.
spent a few hours in the hospital a couple days ago for dehydration due to a stomach bug. i was released early yesterday morning. the nice thing about being 23 weeks pregnant and going to the hospital is that i was able to entirely bypass the emergency department. i was shuttled up to labor & delivery in a wheelchair and settled into a comfy semi-private room with pretty wallpaper and a special hospital bed made for pregnant ladies.
the nurse strapped monitors to my belly to listen to your heartbeat. you didn't like the monitors, or maybe it was the cold jelly she spread on my skin beforehand. your heartbeat came across loud and strong, along with other random funny noises that the nurse explained was you moving around. i felt you kick at the monitors, too. you're a savvy little guy -- you knew exactly where they were on my tummy and you fine tuned your little kicks right in those areas, as if you were trying to figure out why these funny things were invading your space. you'd switch between poking at the one on my lower belly and the one on my upper belly, which caused me to feel a weird tickling and rolling sensation up and down my abdomen. it was a nice distraction from the nausea and pain i'd been feeling for days.
you've been rather quiet since then, though. i'm guessing all that activity was due to related discomfort from the stomach bug i had. i think i'm more or less over it now. i took it pretty easy yesterday, but i was able to keep food and liquids down all day. the effort in doing that tuckered us both out, though. we napped away a good portion of the day, you and i.
yesterday was a frightening day, baby. a rogue gunman opened fire in the carson city IHOP and killed three people, injured another eight, and then committed suicide. your father and i eat there often. if i'd been released form the hospital later in the morning, we might've stopped by there for breakfast.
sometimes i wonder what kind of world i'm bringing you in to. what kind of mother am i to invite you into a world where our country's been at war for ten years with know discernible goal or end date in sight, where children in other countries are dying form starvation before their first birthdays, where our world leaders care more about their twitter updates and celebrity status than solving problems and creating progress. how can i bring you into a world where it's not even safe to go to the neighborhood diner for a meal?
but maybe you'll be the answer to one or some or all of these problems, baby. you're a clean slate, brand new, full of potential. maybe you'll grow up to cure cancer, or to be the president of the united states who actually unites everyone for a common good. your life was created and conceived despite barriers and boundaries that your father and i put in place to prevent pregnancy, which makes us believe that your life is that much more significant. every life is precious, baby, but YOU are our gift.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
024
dear baby,
we were SO excited to learn two days ago that you're a boy! haven't uploaded the pictures from the sonogram yet, but there's no disputing the evidence :-)
you've been moving around so much more in my tummy lately, and today i actually felt your kicks from the outside. i called your dad over to feel, but you calmed down by then. i can't wait til he's able to feel you moving around, too.
22 weeks this week.
we were SO excited to learn two days ago that you're a boy! haven't uploaded the pictures from the sonogram yet, but there's no disputing the evidence :-)
you've been moving around so much more in my tummy lately, and today i actually felt your kicks from the outside. i called your dad over to feel, but you calmed down by then. i can't wait til he's able to feel you moving around, too.
22 weeks this week.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
023
dear baby,
tomorrow we're 21 weeks along! you've been moving around a lot today, seemingly having a grand time wiggling against my bladder. this makes me very uncomfortable, by the way. and it makes you feel a LOT heavier than you actually are. in fact, i don't even think you weigh a pound yet, but you feel ENORMOUS against my internal organs.
in truth, i feel huge, too.
tomorrow we're 21 weeks along! you've been moving around a lot today, seemingly having a grand time wiggling against my bladder. this makes me very uncomfortable, by the way. and it makes you feel a LOT heavier than you actually are. in fact, i don't even think you weigh a pound yet, but you feel ENORMOUS against my internal organs.
in truth, i feel huge, too.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
022
this is a photo of your second cousin, abbigail savanah reynolds. she was born today to my cousin jenny and her husband tony, via emergency c-section, because her umbilical cord was tightly wrapped around her neck.
despite her dangerous situation in-utero, abby is healthy and wonderful. she weighed a bit over 6 lbs.
jenny and i have had rather similar pregnancies, despite her being about 20 weeks ahead of me. the enduring nausea, fatigue, and frequent indigestion and heartburn are symptoms that jenny is quite familiar with because she dealt with them all 39 weeks of her pregnancy with abby.
knowing that, i ask you to please not scare me by getting the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck -- or anything else that would cause you or me undue stress during your birth. let's strive for a swift, easy-going process to bring you into the world! no sense in following too closely in cousin abby's footsteps. be a trailblazer, baby!
just want to plant the idea in your head now so you have a while to think about it. okay? thanks. love you lots.
Friday, August 12, 2011
021
dear baby,
i had a dream last night that i gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. i named them isaac and ruby lee.
please don't be two. i'm quite satisfied with one baby at a time.
anyway, i don't think there are two of you. just one. just one baby. i have a good size belly bump when i stand up, but a part of that is you pushing my existing belly fat up and out. when i lay down, i get a better idea of your actual size:
i had a dream last night that i gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. i named them isaac and ruby lee.
please don't be two. i'm quite satisfied with one baby at a time.
anyway, i don't think there are two of you. just one. just one baby. i have a good size belly bump when i stand up, but a part of that is you pushing my existing belly fat up and out. when i lay down, i get a better idea of your actual size:
Sunday, August 7, 2011
020
dear baby,
got sick today for the first time in a couple weeks. puked with such ferocity; it reminded me of 'the exorcist.'
today is not a happy pregnant day.
19 weeks.
got sick today for the first time in a couple weeks. puked with such ferocity; it reminded me of 'the exorcist.'
today is not a happy pregnant day.
19 weeks.
Friday, August 5, 2011
019
dear baby,
so dr. barulich was a bit of a buzz kill yesterday at our appointment. he decided that 18 weeks gestation is too early to do the sonogram to take a peek at your private bits. we scheduled another appointment at the end of this month, so hopefully (fingers crossed!) we'll know to shop for pink or blue before september is upon us.
your dad fished a stethoscope out of the storage shed for me this morning, and i've been using it all day to listen to you swim around my belly. i was hoping to hear your heart beat -- your pulse was SO LOUD and STRONG through the doppler machine at the doctor's office yesterday -- but no luck yet. but i do hear faint little gurgles and hiccup noises when i listen to my lower belly. and these noises are quite different from what i hear when i place the apparatus on my upper gut, so i'm guessing i really am listening to YOU and not my digestive system squishing about.
week 18 photos:
i cut four/five inches off the length of my hair the other day and it feels SO great. you've grown a lot recently, and my belly's big enough to cause me a lot of discomfort at night. i toss and turn and flip from side to side all night long. when my hair was longer, it would get caught underneath my body and pull painfully at my scalp. now that it's shorter, i'm much more comfortable. it's not the most stylish look, but i'll be honest, baby, you don't have the most stylish mama. i spend most of my time in pajamas and sweats now that my pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit over my belly. i can't remember the last time i wore makeup. but i promise i'll attempt to retain a little bit of fashion and style once you're born, and especially once you're old enough to be embarrassed by your parents. we wont go out to dinner with me wearing a t-shirt with a large hole in the arm pit (remind me to someday tell you that story about your grandfather...) lol.
so dr. barulich was a bit of a buzz kill yesterday at our appointment. he decided that 18 weeks gestation is too early to do the sonogram to take a peek at your private bits. we scheduled another appointment at the end of this month, so hopefully (fingers crossed!) we'll know to shop for pink or blue before september is upon us.
your dad fished a stethoscope out of the storage shed for me this morning, and i've been using it all day to listen to you swim around my belly. i was hoping to hear your heart beat -- your pulse was SO LOUD and STRONG through the doppler machine at the doctor's office yesterday -- but no luck yet. but i do hear faint little gurgles and hiccup noises when i listen to my lower belly. and these noises are quite different from what i hear when i place the apparatus on my upper gut, so i'm guessing i really am listening to YOU and not my digestive system squishing about.
week 18 photos:
i cut four/five inches off the length of my hair the other day and it feels SO great. you've grown a lot recently, and my belly's big enough to cause me a lot of discomfort at night. i toss and turn and flip from side to side all night long. when my hair was longer, it would get caught underneath my body and pull painfully at my scalp. now that it's shorter, i'm much more comfortable. it's not the most stylish look, but i'll be honest, baby, you don't have the most stylish mama. i spend most of my time in pajamas and sweats now that my pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit over my belly. i can't remember the last time i wore makeup. but i promise i'll attempt to retain a little bit of fashion and style once you're born, and especially once you're old enough to be embarrassed by your parents. we wont go out to dinner with me wearing a t-shirt with a large hole in the arm pit (remind me to someday tell you that story about your grandfather...) lol.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
018
dearest baby,
tomorrow we find out if you're a boy or a girl! knowing your gender will make things all the more realistic, i think.
so far this week...a lot less nausea but many more aches and pains. i crawl into bed in the mid-afternoon and loathe getting out of it. truthfully, i pretty much stay in bed for the rest of the evening. maybe that's not the healthiest thing, but my tummy feels SO heavy and aches so much. sleeping has been difficult lately as well. my hips and back feel like they're out of alignment. i can't stay in the same position for too long, and i'm limited to laying on my sides. it's been difficult to get used to those positions because i'm normally a tummy-sleeper, but you've grown big enough recently that it's quite uncomfortable to lay face-down. laying on my back is uncomfortable, too. your weight goes onto my bladder and unevenly over my hips and feels very awkward.
despite all my complaining, i love knowing you're in my belly, growing and progressing and doing whatever it is you do while you're in there. i wish i could feel you move. sometimes i think i do, but those feelings aren't consistent. i look forward to the day i feel your first solid kick. maybe when that actually happens, though, i'll eat those words.
i love you, baby.
tomorrow we find out if you're a boy or a girl! knowing your gender will make things all the more realistic, i think.
so far this week...a lot less nausea but many more aches and pains. i crawl into bed in the mid-afternoon and loathe getting out of it. truthfully, i pretty much stay in bed for the rest of the evening. maybe that's not the healthiest thing, but my tummy feels SO heavy and aches so much. sleeping has been difficult lately as well. my hips and back feel like they're out of alignment. i can't stay in the same position for too long, and i'm limited to laying on my sides. it's been difficult to get used to those positions because i'm normally a tummy-sleeper, but you've grown big enough recently that it's quite uncomfortable to lay face-down. laying on my back is uncomfortable, too. your weight goes onto my bladder and unevenly over my hips and feels very awkward.
despite all my complaining, i love knowing you're in my belly, growing and progressing and doing whatever it is you do while you're in there. i wish i could feel you move. sometimes i think i do, but those feelings aren't consistent. i look forward to the day i feel your first solid kick. maybe when that actually happens, though, i'll eat those words.
i love you, baby.
Monday, July 25, 2011
017
dear baby,
ready for photos?
17 weeks and still cooking. haven't had morning sickness in about a week -- thank you very much -- but i can expect some craaaazy heartburn and indigestion about an hour after i eat anything. no more bloody noses either, which i appreciate. supposedly the second trimester of pregnancy is when you have more energy, but i still feel exhausted and ready for a nap ALL. THE. TIME. i haven't felt you move yet, but any time i'm laying still i concentrate on the feelings in my belly and hope that i'll feel little flutteries soon. nonetheless, i know you're still growing and developing because i get some awful ligament pains in the bottom of my belly at the end of the day, and that wouldn't happen unless you were getting bigger. 23 more weeks (give or take!) until i get to meet you. xo.
ready for photos?
17 weeks and still cooking. haven't had morning sickness in about a week -- thank you very much -- but i can expect some craaaazy heartburn and indigestion about an hour after i eat anything. no more bloody noses either, which i appreciate. supposedly the second trimester of pregnancy is when you have more energy, but i still feel exhausted and ready for a nap ALL. THE. TIME. i haven't felt you move yet, but any time i'm laying still i concentrate on the feelings in my belly and hope that i'll feel little flutteries soon. nonetheless, i know you're still growing and developing because i get some awful ligament pains in the bottom of my belly at the end of the day, and that wouldn't happen unless you were getting bigger. 23 more weeks (give or take!) until i get to meet you. xo.
Friday, July 15, 2011
016
dear baby,
i figured it's time i post tummy pictures, since my mid-section seems to be increasing in size...
15 weeks along.
25 more to go!
i figured it's time i post tummy pictures, since my mid-section seems to be increasing in size...
15 weeks along.
25 more to go!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
015
dear baby,
tomorrow i'll be 15 weeks. we heard your heartbeat a couple days ago, a healthy 160 bpm.
had to make a trip to the emergency room to get hydrated via IV. the summer heat has been so intense, and combined with the nausea you cause me, i got caught in a horrid cycle of dehydration and vomiting and nausea. the IV's made all the difference, as did a prescription of anti-nausea medication, and now i'm feeling much better.
next month, we learn if you're a boy or a girl, though a bpm of 160 supposedly indicates that we should start purchasing things in pink. we'll see!
tomorrow i'll be 15 weeks. we heard your heartbeat a couple days ago, a healthy 160 bpm.
had to make a trip to the emergency room to get hydrated via IV. the summer heat has been so intense, and combined with the nausea you cause me, i got caught in a horrid cycle of dehydration and vomiting and nausea. the IV's made all the difference, as did a prescription of anti-nausea medication, and now i'm feeling much better.
next month, we learn if you're a boy or a girl, though a bpm of 160 supposedly indicates that we should start purchasing things in pink. we'll see!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
014
dear baby,
i feel like a disgrace to pregnant women. pregnancy is supposed to be this joyous and happy occasion. pregnant women are supposed to be glowing and blissful and full of life -- literally and figuratively.
but i don't feel like any of those things. i'm tired, worn out, sick, and stressed. if i'm glowing, it's probably an odd hue of pasty or pale that simply looks luminescent in the fluorescent light under which i stand at work. i'm constantly hungry, and that makes me irritable and grouchy. i wake up in the middle of the night with painful indigestion or hunger pangs.
none of these things make me a happy, joyous, blissful person. i'm excited you're on the way; i look forward to meeting you. but i'm also scared about the aftermath. i worry about what it will take to get us to that point. do we have enough money? do i have enough energy?
the one thing i do not doubt is the love, baby. we have enough love.
today, a co-worker told me that i'm starting to show a little bit. i told her that she's probably confusing that with fat, since i eat so much. i look forward to the day i can feel you inside of me. it will make this whole experience much more real.
one day at a time, baby.
i feel like a disgrace to pregnant women. pregnancy is supposed to be this joyous and happy occasion. pregnant women are supposed to be glowing and blissful and full of life -- literally and figuratively.
but i don't feel like any of those things. i'm tired, worn out, sick, and stressed. if i'm glowing, it's probably an odd hue of pasty or pale that simply looks luminescent in the fluorescent light under which i stand at work. i'm constantly hungry, and that makes me irritable and grouchy. i wake up in the middle of the night with painful indigestion or hunger pangs.
none of these things make me a happy, joyous, blissful person. i'm excited you're on the way; i look forward to meeting you. but i'm also scared about the aftermath. i worry about what it will take to get us to that point. do we have enough money? do i have enough energy?
the one thing i do not doubt is the love, baby. we have enough love.
today, a co-worker told me that i'm starting to show a little bit. i told her that she's probably confusing that with fat, since i eat so much. i look forward to the day i can feel you inside of me. it will make this whole experience much more real.
one day at a time, baby.
Friday, May 20, 2011
013
this is your first photo. ever. you're that vertical white smudge beneath my middle finger. since i'm just about 7 weeks along, you're supposedly the size of a blueberry. i'm guessing sonograms exaggerate your girth.
today i saw your heartbeat. i saw your little image, your smudge, flicker on the sonogram monitor. your heart beats healthily, according to my doctor. i'm SO relieved, and so very thankful to know that you're growing and progressing well.
i'll still be having blood drawn ever week so the doctor can continue to monitor my hormone levels, but those seem to be improving as well. doc said he was very impressed by the rise in my pregnancy hormone, and starting a regimen of supplements should help my progesterone levels to rise as well. things seem to be back on track, and i'm so excited!
things seem much more real now, baby. you exist in my tummy and i have photographic evidence! seeing your heart beating was one of the most profound moments of my life.
please know, baby, that you are already SO loved.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
012
dear baby,
met a lovely mom last night who gave me great pregnancy advice. she took one look at me and said, "i know everything you're going through. upper tummy pain, right? rub it out." lol. we talked for an hour or so after my shift ended at work and she offered some helpful hints to combat the nausea, plus a great supportive shoulder to lean on after a long and difficult day.
tomorrow is the doctor's appointment. finger's crossed that everything is on track and normal and as it should be!
met a lovely mom last night who gave me great pregnancy advice. she took one look at me and said, "i know everything you're going through. upper tummy pain, right? rub it out." lol. we talked for an hour or so after my shift ended at work and she offered some helpful hints to combat the nausea, plus a great supportive shoulder to lean on after a long and difficult day.
tomorrow is the doctor's appointment. finger's crossed that everything is on track and normal and as it should be!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
011
dear baby,
dyspepsia, also known as indigestion, also known as these intense upper abdominal cramps that have been plaguing me all day. if i'm fortunate enough to keep food down today, then i'm sadly suffering from the pain of tummy bloating and cramps and -- god forbid -- gas. and today's my first day back to work in a week. it's difficult to be a smiley guest service representative when you're trying not to a) hurl, b) fart, or c) all of the above.
doctor's appointment on friday. nervous. nervous! it's 10:45 pm and this is the first night in a long while i've been up so late instead of snuggled in to bed next to your father at this hour. kind of a bummer. sacrifices, baby. sacrifices. going to talk to my boss and/or HR about a different schedule, though, or cutting back my hours. because working this kind of shift will be difficult if my nausea keeps up. that, or talk to the doctor on friday about anti-nausea medication. things to keep in mind.
dyspepsia, also known as indigestion, also known as these intense upper abdominal cramps that have been plaguing me all day. if i'm fortunate enough to keep food down today, then i'm sadly suffering from the pain of tummy bloating and cramps and -- god forbid -- gas. and today's my first day back to work in a week. it's difficult to be a smiley guest service representative when you're trying not to a) hurl, b) fart, or c) all of the above.
doctor's appointment on friday. nervous. nervous! it's 10:45 pm and this is the first night in a long while i've been up so late instead of snuggled in to bed next to your father at this hour. kind of a bummer. sacrifices, baby. sacrifices. going to talk to my boss and/or HR about a different schedule, though, or cutting back my hours. because working this kind of shift will be difficult if my nausea keeps up. that, or talk to the doctor on friday about anti-nausea medication. things to keep in mind.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
010
dear baby,
lol, pregnancy brain. this is what you do to me: i put the hot pocket in the microwave and then two minutes later wonder why the microwave hasn't beeped to let me know my snack's done cooking. why? because i forgot to set the timer and turn it on.
more blood tests and lab work later today. still no official word from the doctor except phone calls to order the tests. and i'm still not allowed to work without official words from the doctor. hope you're okay, baby, because this is starting to get old. and i mean that as non-snarkily as possible.
lol, pregnancy brain. this is what you do to me: i put the hot pocket in the microwave and then two minutes later wonder why the microwave hasn't beeped to let me know my snack's done cooking. why? because i forgot to set the timer and turn it on.
more blood tests and lab work later today. still no official word from the doctor except phone calls to order the tests. and i'm still not allowed to work without official words from the doctor. hope you're okay, baby, because this is starting to get old. and i mean that as non-snarkily as possible.
Friday, May 13, 2011
009
dear baby,
it's been a scary couple of days. i left work early on wednesday due to lower back and abdominal pains. your dad took me to the emergency room where doctors poked me with needles and ran bunches of tests to make sure you're developing well and that i'm healthy, too.
the ultrasound showed your yolk sac (which eventually becomes part of your digestive system -- interesting, yes?), but didn't show YOU. you should be an embryo connected to that yolk sac, but you weren't there.
so i cried, a lot, thinking you were lost or maybe my body was getting ready to reject this pregnancy. and your father and i were really sad. upset. bummed out. disappointed. because as unprepared as we were for the news that you're on the way, we still anticipate you greatly. and we're already attached. and i already love you, dearly. MY baby.
but i hopped on the computer later and did a lot of research on early pregnancies, ultrasounds, and yolk sacs/no embryos, etc. and it turns out that this is a fairly common thing that many women experience in their first weeks of pregnancy, sometimes all the way up into their ninth or tenth week. according to one website, the yolk sac is always visible before an embryo, and this happens around the fifth week of gestation. so maybe you just haven't grown big enough to be seen. maybe you were hiding! maybe there was too much gas in my tummy, which impeded their view of you. they had that issue when trying to look at my ovaries.
anyway, baby, YOU ARE LOVED. and wanted. and you're still making me nauseated.
today, when the doctor waves that ridiculous apparatus over my belly again, please come out and say hello. it'd be such a relief, for sure.
it's been a scary couple of days. i left work early on wednesday due to lower back and abdominal pains. your dad took me to the emergency room where doctors poked me with needles and ran bunches of tests to make sure you're developing well and that i'm healthy, too.
the ultrasound showed your yolk sac (which eventually becomes part of your digestive system -- interesting, yes?), but didn't show YOU. you should be an embryo connected to that yolk sac, but you weren't there.
so i cried, a lot, thinking you were lost or maybe my body was getting ready to reject this pregnancy. and your father and i were really sad. upset. bummed out. disappointed. because as unprepared as we were for the news that you're on the way, we still anticipate you greatly. and we're already attached. and i already love you, dearly. MY baby.
but i hopped on the computer later and did a lot of research on early pregnancies, ultrasounds, and yolk sacs/no embryos, etc. and it turns out that this is a fairly common thing that many women experience in their first weeks of pregnancy, sometimes all the way up into their ninth or tenth week. according to one website, the yolk sac is always visible before an embryo, and this happens around the fifth week of gestation. so maybe you just haven't grown big enough to be seen. maybe you were hiding! maybe there was too much gas in my tummy, which impeded their view of you. they had that issue when trying to look at my ovaries.
anyway, baby, YOU ARE LOVED. and wanted. and you're still making me nauseated.
today, when the doctor waves that ridiculous apparatus over my belly again, please come out and say hello. it'd be such a relief, for sure.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
008
dear baby,
i'm addicted to the ginger chews sold at trader joe's. they help combat the nausea, especially the huge wave of it that hits at 3:00 pm ON THE DOT.
i'm addicted to the ginger chews sold at trader joe's. they help combat the nausea, especially the huge wave of it that hits at 3:00 pm ON THE DOT.
007
dear baby,
i dreamt about you last night. it was all pink and ribbons and bows and fluff. maybe because i have some innate sense that you're a girl? your father refuses to acknowledge this. he's convinced you're a boy.
we'll see in a few months, right?
i dreamt about you last night. it was all pink and ribbons and bows and fluff. maybe because i have some innate sense that you're a girl? your father refuses to acknowledge this. he's convinced you're a boy.
we'll see in a few months, right?
Monday, May 9, 2011
006
dear baby,
this evening, your father made dinner! surprise: he can cook. two helpings of uber garlicky spaghetti in my tummy to satisfy this ridiculous appetite you've caused -- i'm quite satisfied.
on another note, my abdomen and hips are so sore today. maybe this means you're growing. supposedly, your facial features are developing as are so many of your internal organs. your heart beats now.
i so look forward to meeting you.
this evening, your father made dinner! surprise: he can cook. two helpings of uber garlicky spaghetti in my tummy to satisfy this ridiculous appetite you've caused -- i'm quite satisfied.
on another note, my abdomen and hips are so sore today. maybe this means you're growing. supposedly, your facial features are developing as are so many of your internal organs. your heart beats now.
i so look forward to meeting you.
005
dear baby,
i'm so hungry! your make me crave the weirdest things, like coleslaw and bbq sauce sandwiches.
i'm so hungry! your make me crave the weirdest things, like coleslaw and bbq sauce sandwiches.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
004
dear baby,
today is mother's day. your father sent me this note this morning:
"happy mothersday baby i hope you like your gift its in your belly"
you ARE a gift, albeit an unexpected one. xo.
today is mother's day. your father sent me this note this morning:
"happy mothersday baby i hope you like your gift its in your belly"
you ARE a gift, albeit an unexpected one. xo.
Friday, May 6, 2011
003
dear baby,
whoa, thanks for the queasy stomach all throughout work today. sorry you're not a fan of my toothpaste, since just smelling that as i was getting ready for work seemed to set off the raging nausea that lasted all eight hours of my shift. is it just aquafresh that you don't like? or maybe you're not a fan of spearmint in general...?
whoa, thanks for the queasy stomach all throughout work today. sorry you're not a fan of my toothpaste, since just smelling that as i was getting ready for work seemed to set off the raging nausea that lasted all eight hours of my shift. is it just aquafresh that you don't like? or maybe you're not a fan of spearmint in general...?
Thursday, May 5, 2011
002
dear baby,
so we've begun to tell people about you. your father's friends are excited. mine are elated. our families reactions range from over the moon to conservative and stoic. you may be an oops and a big surprise, but you will be nonetheless loved and welcomed into our lives. we have nine months to prepare for you...and there's so much to do! living situations to figure out, doctor's appointments to schedule, money to save...
we went hiking to the waterfalls yesterday. i'm sorely out of shape, so i'm sorry if i deprived you of oxygen. i've heard exercise is good for pregnant women. really, it's recommended for everyone -- but i enjoy junk food and appreciate filthy habits like drinking and smoking. but with you will come other lifestyle changes and sacrifices. anyway, the waterfalls were gorgeous. your father and i looked for gold nuggets because finding a big one would pay off all our respective debt and ensure your college education. :-) but all we found were suspicious looking flakes -- fool's gold or the real thing? not too sure. so we'll go back out again soon with appropriate tools before i completely lose my waist and you're too big for me to bend over and successfully pan for wealth.
so we've begun to tell people about you. your father's friends are excited. mine are elated. our families reactions range from over the moon to conservative and stoic. you may be an oops and a big surprise, but you will be nonetheless loved and welcomed into our lives. we have nine months to prepare for you...and there's so much to do! living situations to figure out, doctor's appointments to schedule, money to save...
we went hiking to the waterfalls yesterday. i'm sorely out of shape, so i'm sorry if i deprived you of oxygen. i've heard exercise is good for pregnant women. really, it's recommended for everyone -- but i enjoy junk food and appreciate filthy habits like drinking and smoking. but with you will come other lifestyle changes and sacrifices. anyway, the waterfalls were gorgeous. your father and i looked for gold nuggets because finding a big one would pay off all our respective debt and ensure your college education. :-) but all we found were suspicious looking flakes -- fool's gold or the real thing? not too sure. so we'll go back out again soon with appropriate tools before i completely lose my waist and you're too big for me to bend over and successfully pan for wealth.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
001
dear baby,
today is wednesday. we've known about you for four days, but the doctor says i'm about 5-6 weeks along in this pregnancy.
when i eat, you make my stomach burn. you make me pee a lot. you make my hips and boobs hurt. thanks.
you make me crave things like watermelon and pizza. i yawn all the time because all i want to do is rest. supposedly, you're the size of a sesame seed inside my belly. your father calls you a demon seed. :-) someday, we'll tell you the story of how you beat the odds and were conceived despite all the measures we took for that NOT to happen.
i hope you're healthy.
today is wednesday. we've known about you for four days, but the doctor says i'm about 5-6 weeks along in this pregnancy.
when i eat, you make my stomach burn. you make me pee a lot. you make my hips and boobs hurt. thanks.
you make me crave things like watermelon and pizza. i yawn all the time because all i want to do is rest. supposedly, you're the size of a sesame seed inside my belly. your father calls you a demon seed. :-) someday, we'll tell you the story of how you beat the odds and were conceived despite all the measures we took for that NOT to happen.
i hope you're healthy.
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